A RR fic by toona@chat.ru
Translated to English by Aivars Liepa
aliepa@lib.acadlib.lv
Disclaimer: All used personages, except the 'mass scenes'
participants, are (c) The Walt Disney Company and Warner Brot-
hers, and are used here without their permission. This text
may be freely distributed (but not modified) if there is no
commercial gain acquired by it. If You plan to place it somew-
here on the net, please let me know at toona@chat.ru
Scene: Rescue Ranger's headquarters. The pigeon had just
delivered a letter.
Chip: From whom it is, Gadget?
Gadget: It's from my uncle Joe from Texas.
Dale: Ahh! Texas! Hold still, you dirty robbers!
Dale aims imaginary pistol, playing out a typical cowboy
from westerns.
Chip: Stop goofing, Dale!
Gadget: My uncle is writing, that they are having a seri-
ous trouble into their city. We have to go and help him.
Chip: Where do we go?
Gadget: Green Valley.
Monty (heads to his room): I think I will pick up my cow-
boy's hat then.
Dale: Monty, it's not yours, it's your dads!
Monty: Dad won't miss it for the time, I think.
* * *
Scene: The street of a ghost town. (For those who hadn't
yet guessed, just take a look at the city from animation seri-
al "Faiwel's Wild West adventures") Rangers, including Gadget,
are dressed like the cowboys.
Dale: Wild prairies, rolling weeds, brave cowboys!
Chip: We came here for a reason, Dale.
Dale: Won't we even take a look at the rodeo, Chiip?!
Gadget: Guys! I think, this is my uncle's home.
Dale is standing at the ad-pole near the mouse-sized sa-
loon entrance.
Dale (reads): "Wild West Show! The most dangerous cowboy
Largo..."
Chip: DALE!
Rangers, including ashamed Dale, are entering saloon. In-
side there is total chaos; everywhere is lying broken furnitu-
re and shattered pottery. All is covered with the sand-dust.
Dale: It was the great Largo itself... Ups! What happened
here?
Gadget: Uncle Joe! Where are you!?
Monty: It seemed to be a saloon before the trashing...
Dale (looks around with big eyes): Wow! You mean - a real
saloon?
Gadget: Yes, Monty. It was the best saloon into the city.
Chip is walking down from the gallery at the second flo-
or.
Chip: Gadget, I didn't find anyone up there either. Howe-
ver, I found this.
Chip holds up an old had. Monty pokes finger through the
hole into its top.
Monty: Someone has used it for a target practice.
Dale: Right. Hey, what is this? Hey, Gadget, I found a
note!
Monty: It's for you, Gadget!
Gadget (reads): "Dear Gadget! Look for me at the Lucky
Luigi horse-stand, you know, where it is. Be careful on the
streets. Joe."
Monty: Why he is warning about the streets? We didn't me-
et anyone on our way here. There wasn't a single soul even at
the train station!
Chip: I feel, there is something wrong.
Monty: If I can judge from the train-list, they are going
through here quite often...
Chip: It is strange then, that we didn't meet anyone he-
re! Maybe they all are hiding? Dale, you... Dale! Monty, did
you see where he went?
Monty: Out on the street. He wanted to get the Largo's
poster for a memory.
Gadget: O gosh!
Chip: Stop, Gadget! You had better stay there with Monty.
I have a feeling we all had better stay close together.
Dale (enters saloon with the poster in paws): Chip, the
poster is old!
* * *
Scene: empty street. Wind is circling dust; over the
screen rolls a rolling-weed.
Gadget: We crossed two city blocks already. It looks like
the city had died out.
Chip: Show me the poster.
Dale: But it is old, Chip!
Mildred: And who you are?
Look shifts to the middle of the street, where is stan-
ding a she-cat (Sawyer from "Cat's Don't Dance") into an old
dress, style of the end of XIX century.
Dale: CAT!
Monty: Gadget, stand behind me.
Mildred: Boys! Come here, we have some city-dwellers gu-
esting!
Arrive two more cats. Voren (Danny from "Cat's Don't Dan-
ce") - the big cat into hat and old cowboy's costume, with
sheriff's star on the chest, and Stinky - the perfect example
of a slow-thinking half-idiot valleyboy.
Stinky: Yes, sheriff. I guess, some of the local rats had
rattled. Let's eat them.
Voren: Calm down, Stinky, we would always have time to
eat them.
Chip (whispers): If something happens, lets retreat to
the train station...
Mildred (releases claws): Voren, they plan to run to the
station!
Voren: Let them, Mildred. If these boys so want to wait
for tomorrow's train on empty station, why we are to stop
them!
The cat trio laughs.
Monty: Listen, cater! I won't hold still and let some
idiot to sneer at me!
Voren: A, shut up, hothead! This is my city, rat, and I'M
the law and order here! And if you as much as squeak against
it, my colt will show you your errors!
Voren grabs for the colt.
Gadget: Maybe you will like this!
Gadget throws a small balloon at the cats. From it with
the hiss breaks out gas.
Gadget: Run!
The cats are laughing wildly. They slowly stop, as the
gas is blown away.
Voren: Damn! They tricked us!
Mildred: Voren, what's the your law saying about this?
Voren: I know you're hungry, kitty. Don't worry, when we
get them, I will let you have the first pick... Just a mo-
ment...
The look at the street. Far into the distance are seen
running Rangers.
Voren: Follow them! They will lead us to their hideout!
Chip: Gadget. Where are we running?
Gadget: At the moment - to the church. They are chasing
after us.
Monty: Don't worry Gadget, I will delay them.
Chip (tries to stop Monty): Don't get mad, Monty, we
won't win a fight with them fist to fist!
Monty: Who said I would go fist to fist?
Monty pushes Chip after the others, then stops running.
Dale: Monty!
Monty: Hey! Voren, you are a sheep under your cat's skin!
No honour at all!
Voren: WH-AAAT?!! How dare you! I will shoot you into
Swiss cheese!
Monty: Only honour-less bastards do so!
Stinky: Hmm, Voren, technically he is saying the truth.
Voren: Who asked your advice!
Swings paw at Stinky, but he is wise enough - or has eno-
ugh practice - to avoid it.
Monty: Hey, Voren, how about playing it by the rules? My
colt is loaded and ready to make few holes into your skin!
It's the way of honour!
Dale: Show him, Monty!
Gadget (paws at her mouth): Gosh, Monty, he will shoot
you to pieces!
Monty: Don't worry Gadget, he would have to win an old
cowboy, not the ordinary city rat!
Voren: Mildred, set up five steps! Well, rat, wont get
bear-illness at five steps?
Monty (rolls out chest): Don't bark, puppy! I tossed las-
soes earlier that you went out of the diapers!
Voren: Talker! Okay, lets do it!
They both stand one against other, paws near the weapon
holders. Cat is grinning, expecting easy victory. Monty is lo-
oking up, where over the cat's head into wind is swinging huge
poster "Welcome into GreenValley". Two gunshots. Cat curses
under the fallen poster.
Monty: And now lets run like we never had!
Gadget (from the crack into church's wall): Guys, here!
Quick!
Chip disappears into the crack. Dale runs to it, then lo-
oks around, then directly into the camera. Whispers to Monty.
Dale: Monty... They are asking, where you got the gun.
Monty too looks into the camera, and it is clearly visib-
le, he is at the loss what to say. Suddenly he starts grin-
ning. Turns to Dale.
Monty: Found under the table at the Joe's saloon.
They both crawl into the crack, Dale first. Monty pauses,
looks back, toward the camera.
Monty: Yes, right. It was loaded.
* * *
Scene: The church's basement. Everywhere sits or stands
mice of all ages. Most of them look very afraid.
Gadget: What happened, uncle?
-: Boy, you are a courageous one. Exactly a cowboy.
Monty: It's nothing! Beat such a stupid cat - it's like
to spit on the ground.
-: Say so!
-: Someone only that spitting part managed.
Joe: Gadget, how I'm happy that you came. I hoped that
you would came with friends.
Chip: We are Rescue Rangers, Joe! If somewhere the bad
guys are winning, we arrive to set the things right.
Gadget: What happened into the city, uncle?
Joe: At first, cats wouldn't bother us much. But, when
the humans left, they took the dogs with them. The cats finis-
hed all their reserves and then came for us. We had no chance
that to drop our workshops and homes and run. The mayor tried
to do something, to talk things out, but Voren ate him. There-
fore, it all falls apart now...
The priest mouse: My children, our city won't give up. We
are glad for your help, Rescuers. Monty, you are courageous,
but you angered Voren. I don't see how that would help our ca-
se...
Gadget: Don't worry, padre. We will free this city from
cats.
Joe: But how?! You are only five! And one of the five is
only a fly!
Chip: We are five, Joe! Besides, how many adult mice ca-
pable to fight are left here?
Joe: Would be about a hundred, maybe a bit more...
Chip: And you even think about giving up! We are rodents!
The humans wouldn't get rid of us, and you are hiding from
three cats! Shame!
Voice from the mob: What do you know about our honour,
city-dweller!
Chip: I'm a rodent before I'm city-dweller! Gadget, I ha-
ve a plan! Padre, I would also need two dozen volunteers. We
have to gather all weapons left into city.
Monty: Right, Chip! Let's skin some cats!
Chorus: Rangers, go!
* * *
Scene: the dusty street in front of sheriff's office.
Mildred had stretched out into small shadow. Stinky sleeps on
the floor, a piece of cloth tossed over his face.
Mildred (slow, annoying meow): Vo-oren! A whole day not
even a single mouse-e...
Voren has stretched into the rocking chair inside the of-
fice.
Voren: Want to eat, kitty - go catch something. And stop
pestering me...
Stinky (still under the cloth): Voren, I'm too hungry!
Voren: As like I'm happy from all this! Usually they were
sneaking around carefully, but now, as these city dwellers ar-
rived - they like as died out.
Dale jumps out from under the wooden walkway.
Mildred (momentarily on legs): Mouse!
Stinky (trying to be first to get the catch): Mildred,
it's not fair! I saw him first!
The gunshot rings over their heads.
Voren: Hold on, idiots! I'm the sheriff here!
Dale starts to tease cats.
Voren: Hey, it's one of them city mice! Get him!
Scene: Inside some garden behind the high wall. There is
a board placed over the log, on the lower end are arranged two
rows of small pots.
Gadget: Okay, jump on the three! One! Two! Three!
Group of mice jump on the high end of board. The pots fly
over the wall, to land around the cats and shatter. Cats stop,
then start scratch.
Stinky: Voren, what's this?
Mildred: I hate flies!
Mice on the roofs: Hurrah!
Stinky: They are everywhere!
Voren: Showed up... Darn flies, vampires not bugs! Must
have pulled their own ones out, darn vermin!
Mildred (looks on her claws): My manicure!
Voren (sarcastic): Found about what to worry!
Dale runs, Voren is chasing after him. Stinky follows a
bit behind.
Stinky: Voren, be careful! The rope...
Voren (face into dust, roars): You're DEAD, vermin!
Mayor (fat aged she-mouse): Drop your weapons! You are
surrounded!
Voren: What are you squeaking about?
Mayor: You ate my husband, so I'm the new mayor of city.
In name of law, surrender!
Voren: Wow! Mice with some guts! Listen, I'm the sheriff
here, hear? One more squeak from your snout, and I will help
you join with your husband!
Mayor: Look around, Voren.
From every window, from the roofs there are weapons aimed
at the cats. Every pistol or gun is hold by several mice.
Voren: You won't have the guts!
Voren shoots at the closest group. There is prolonged
salvo in return. When the smoke clears, Voren is still stan-
ding, but into rags, all soothed black, blank expression on
face.
Voren: Okay, you won! I'm surrendering!
Mildred: Voren! You gave up so easy! Are you man or mou-
se?!
Voren: Shut up, woman!
Mildred: No Voren, I won't shut up!
Gadget: Hey, Mildred! Drop your gun!
Mildred: Again you, city mouse! Stand still, so I can hit
you!
Gadget launches small rock from the catapult. It hits
Mildred's pistol and it explodes into she-cat's paws. The
blackened cat is curiously looking at the blown-up barrel.
Mildred (to Voren): And why I ever put up with you! May
have lived into slaughterhouse near Denver, feeding every
day...
Voren: Into cat prison you would sit into Denver, stupid
ungrateful moody pest! You need worship me that I took up the
task of getting you out of that stinking place!
Mildred: Worship? I will show you worship!
Mildred stretches out claws and jumps at Voren. There is
a catfight and screams. Fur pieces fly everywhere; dust cloud
covers the fighters. All others are watching it.
* * *
Judge: The GreenValley city small animal court jury the-
refore finds the suspects guilty on all charges and declares
them to be forever deported out of the city into prairies!
Shouts from the mob :
- Right!
- Throw them out!
- Butchers!
- Thought to get away with this!
Voren: Aw, shaddup, idiots! If not a few wise heads, were
you still sitting quiet into your holes, wont dare a squeak
normally!
Mildred: Few days earlier you talked different! (To the
camera, bored) Last time I play in western.
Judge: Accused, you already had said your last words.
* * *
Scene: The train station. The cats are sitting into the
steel box tied under the vagon's floor. Between the bars is
visible Voren's angry face. Behind him, deeper into the cage
is sitting dark Mildred. Into opposite corner, under the
cloth, sleeps Stinky.
Mice (in chorus): Happy travel!
Voren glares at the crowd with mad eyes. Train gains the
speed and disappears behind the turn.
* * *
Scene: City main street. The crowd of happy mice mills
around here. On the colourful tribune are standing the mayor,
the padre, Rescue Rangers and few important looking mice.
Voices from the crowd:
- Cheer to Rangers!
- Chip for Mayor!
- Let Monty be our sheriff!
- You are real heroes!
The poster "Welcome to GreenValley" again had been raised
over the street. Rangers are who blushing (Gadget), who blo-
wing up from fame (Dale).
Mayor: Silence!
The crowd calms a bit.
Mayor: As a mayor of our city, I feel necessary to say
this: Rescue Rangers arrived, when our city was dying. They
returned to us the freedom and we no more fear our future!
Young mice are presenting flowers to the Rangers. One
young white mouse with the bow in hairs, after giving flowers
to Dale, kisses him on the cheek. Dale turns red.
Mayor: On the name of all citizens of GreenValley, I'm
asking you to stay in our city. With your help, this desert
will turn into oasis.
Monty: Gadget, you will have to speak for us all.
Dale is ready to say a speech, but Chip elbows him. There
is clear disappointment written on Dale's face.
Gadget: Monty, I cant. I'm afraid!
Chip: Don't be afraid, Gadget! Say it!
Mayor: Silence!
Voice from crowd: Silence, You oafs! Gadget will speak!
Gadget: Dear citizens of GreenValley!
Gadget is at the loss. The crowd applauds.
Voices from crowd:
- Continue!
- Not be afraid!
- We wait for you!
Gadget (makes a deep breath): Thank you for your warm re-
cei... (whispers) O gosh, what I'm saying... No, lets so...
(loudly) We will teach you how to build the watering dams and
channels. You won't be hungry, but...
The crown is silent. Gadget turns interesting shade of
pink.
Gadget: ...we can't stay here forever.
The wild screams of protest!
Chip: We are Rescue Rangers! We defeated the bad guys in-
to your city, but we are needed into other places too! After
all there are so many criminals nowadays escaping their pu-
nishment in the world...
Dale energetically pushes Chip aside and at last gets to
say something.
Dale (with wild energy): RODENTS!!!
Shouts from the mob: "Hurrah!" and "Right!!!"
Dale: Rodents!!! We fought for our rights and our name!
But we are done here! Besides... there is too hot.
Mice tear up the barrier and swarm the tribune. For a mo-
ment, there is a close-up on Gadget's face - filled with fear.
Rangers in panic try to run. Zipper speeds over the sea of
arms stretching after him. Then the Rangers rhythmically are
appearing over the heads of mob. The scene colours out to the
black&white photo that is moved on the wall.
The Rescue Ranger headquarters. Monty is hanging up a
picture plate with a few photos on the wall. Dale looks, then
holds his stomach and starts laughing madly. Soon others join
him, except the angry Chip. On one of photos there is close-up
on him doing a flying movements with paws, while being in the
air over the crowd of mice (head down, white eyes in fear).
Dale: Bwa-ha-ha! O, I can't hold anymore! Flying chip-
munk!
Chip straightens up and bonks Dale hard on the head. Dale
fells off the chair. New explosion of laugher. Chip too is la-
ughing. Dale angrily stands up and jumps at Chip. Soon there
is a wild ball of dust, from what for a moment appears paws
heads or tails. Monty is looking at Gadget. She sights, smiles
to him and shrugs.
Iris out.
P.S. The filming crew expresses their greatest apologies
to the mister Zipper. The filmed fragments with his appearance
had been severely damaged when into the montage-room broke out
fire, and so had to be cut out from the final version. The gu-
ilty persons are severely punished.
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