Tracking the Boogerman

(Po Stopam Bugermena)

by John

translated by Aivars "Aiva" Liepa



     Author's disclaimer: Rescue Rangers are (c) The Walt Dis-
ney Company and are used here without permission.  This  story
can  be freely distributed (but not modified),  if by doing so
it there is no commercial gain. If You plan to place it on the
Internet, please let me know.

     Translator's disclaimer:  This translation was done by me
to try to get the story understood  for  the  wider  audience.
Despite  my  own  thoughts about the situations depicted here,
all the translation was done as close to the original as  pos-
sible.  Because  otherwise  I would have to completely rewrite
the story.


It was late night, when Gadget at last finished her work with the transficator and went to sleep. She had placed her moving bed into the workshop, to be able to go to test the first transexistence generator as soon as she would wake up. No one before had done something like that; it was near as dangerous as to shake hands with the Devil itself, probably even worse. Gadget was tired, but the unfinished work still was whis- pering to her, "do it". It waned her to do things, the nature wasn't meant to be done, what may be dangerous to the both planet and life on if, what most of the living things would not want to even hear about. Gadget used her trusty method. She boiled coffee, and set up a cup of it near the alarm clock, to have a cold coffee as soon as she would wake up four hours later. Maybe there wont be need in coffee - her might and mind were becoming very sharp and hard in such extreme situations. She was sure, the experiment will succeed - and that there would be some great discoveries in the process of testing the transexistence gene- rator... But now there was someone softly knocking at the doors. - Gadget! Open! It's me, Stryker. - Stryker? What happened, it's past midnight. - Just let me in! Stryker didn't look good, when he entered Gadget's work- shop. He was even thinner that usually, had dark circles under eyes, and looked like someone who hadn't had sleep for a few days. - I already spoke with Rudy, its terrible, we have to close the tear, close the gateway and forget it all! - O gosh! Rudy's generator? What happened? - It suddenly went mad! In addition, we all are under threat of destruction! There appeared some monsters... - Stry- ker looked at Gadget's newest invention in fear. - Gadget... You alone except Rudy were building the transexistence genera- tor... It's not what we thought it would be... If not stopped, it will be end of our life. - Darn! We worked so hard to get the license to work with it, and I swear, we did all correctly... - Someone is trying to get through the transficator to our side! We have to stop it. Gadget, you have to help us! Gadget finished the coffee in few fast gulps. - Rescue Rangers will deal with this. - Yes! Please ask them to help. Chip, Dale and Monty agreed immediately. Even Zipper was serious. - Boys, we have to save the world from invasion of Dark forces! Rangers.. - GO! Rudiment's laboratory was contaminated near beyond the recovery. The characteristics of all materials were changing, and there was no electricity. It was dark inside. - Gadget, did you turn on your generator? - O gosh, no! I would have called you... - I can see only one way of this happening - the two big independent generators working simultaneously may create in- terference, that may weaken the dimension barriers... But who may have used the second generator then? - Nimnul! - Stryker suddenly shouted. - Who is Nimnul? - Just an ordinary crazy inventor. He's human, - Gadget sighted. - Be he cursed! - Monty stop swearing. The problem is, what to do now? Stryker, you have visited most of the secret labs. Did you see something like this somewhere? - They are so bad, they cant even set up the mousetraps properly! No, they have nothing like that. I think, there may be only three scientists advanced enough to build the genera- tor. Gadget, Rudiment and Nimnul. - But professor Stinkbaum? - Rudiment asked. - Doubt it, he works for humans, - Dale yawned, not fully aware. - We can't exclude him. - Chip snapped. Sureluck Jones didn't trust anything. - We will check on him, as soon as there would be some order. - Rudi sipped Coo-co Cola and immediately spit it out - even the taste had changed. - We have to go through and try to close the tear from other side. - Great! We would be like the Bugerman! We will follow in the steps of the greatest hero! Hurrah! - Dale jumped from ex- citement. Gadget was checking the wall with the plasma-protons po- sitive tester. It lied, like everything around, but she was making the corrections if necessary. - Yes! I found it! The house was stroked by lightning, outside the rain came down like the dark wall, but in the part of sky there were se- en the dark stars. The tear hissed, light up, and suddenly instead of the wall there was some mercury-silver pool. - We have to do it! - Gadget shouted, her voice near drowned by the storm. - We are stronger that Darkness! Rangers Go! Chip, Dale and Monty jumped though the hole after Gadget. Rescue Rangers appeared into some swamped forest. Water was everywhere, as was the moss, old, dead trees and between them there were some toilet accessories as big as the trees. Fun place. - Wonderful, boys! - Yes. All life dreamed to end here... - Chip sighted. Gadget felt in thoughts. - I have an idea! We will descend into canalisation, bu- ild the trans-station, and we will call Rudy. - From what you will build it? - From the trash, of course! - Yeah... Only one thing, that there is more that enough. They descended into the canalisation through the closest pot. - We may be more safe there... - Monty said looking aro- und. - Most of the monsters were up into the forest... Aaaa!!!! My tail! Let go you (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) (few more expletives deleted)! Chip and Dale immediately poured the storm of lead on every direction. Some time later, they at last hit the invi- sible goblin; it shimmered for a moment and then disappeared. - I think, I was too fast with the conclusions, - Monty whispered. - The pessimist is the well-informed optimist, - Chip sa- id sceptically and blew off the imaginary smoke from his plaz- mo-gun. Gadget had somehow placed together a radio. Monty in meantime was busy dreaming about cheese, but didn't know, how to let it be known to the friends in a most delicate way. - Friends, don't You find it's strange, that there grow only red mushrooms and the wolfberries? I'm a bit hungry. - I saw some other mushrooms too, - Dale added. - No, WE don't find it's strange. We are all hungry! - Chip snapped on them. - Rudy! Rudy, answer me! Gadget on the air! Rudy! Rudy... - I hear you, Gadget! - Can you track us? - No, I cant. There is too much of interference. Where are you? - Looks like the trash-field. Much of organic trash, some broken devices - clearly earth-made - approximately the early twentieth century. I made the basic coherer - sure, it holds together on the good thoughts only, but I hear you clearly. - Okay, Gadget, listen. The first boss is not really hard; he will simply throw the things at you - the rubber chicken and like. So just don't stay on one place. You have to get to the Castle, that's the main target. - Okay, end of transmission. Gadget sat down on the closest pot and felt in deep tho- ughts. Suddenly there was a deep thunder-like voice. - Gad-get - I - ca-me - for - you! - What? Where? Who is speaking? - I - ca-me - af-ter - you! Gi-ve - me trans-fi-cator - I - need - on-ly it! - This voice, how can he know you? The red lights rose over the forest, for a moment blin- ding them all. - Gad-get - gi-ve - me - trans-fi-ca-tor! - It's... my father! I'm coming! - Gadget! Snap out of it! It's not your father! - Daddy! Daddy, I'm coming! - Gadget! He is fooling you! With a flash on the one end of the opening appeared the rainbow-looking pank with the rubber chicken in hands. - Xoy! Full house with rodents, xoy! Rubber chicken went sailing toward the Rangers. - Xoy! - Second chicken somehow magically appeared in pank's hands and joined the first. - Move your tails! - Monty, careful! - Chip, do something! - Monty shouted. Chip jumped over the first chicken and opened fire from all six plasmo-gun's barrels. The pank flashed for a moment, then disappeared, only to appear high into the air. - Xoy! - The new chicken was launched at the Chip. - Dale, cover me! Ouch! - I'm the greatest deratizator! Xoy! One of chickens touched Gadget, and she felt down. - Gadget! - Shoot him, Dale! By now the pank was put into the crossfire. He screamed, few times disappeared, but every time chipmunks caught him again, and every hit got a part of him to disappear. - Panks in city... Xo-o-o-oy... With the final scream, the pank was gone. Immediately started the great downpour. Jumping over the puddles, rangers ran to where was lying Gadget. - Gadget! - We have to run, we are out of time! Monty, help her! - Chip ordered. Wet as after the good swim, the Rangers aimed the wet and sparkling timer and pressed with the all available paws. Few seconds later, it felt to zero. - Game of time, - Chip pulled through the clenched teeth. Then before them opened the portal and they jumped in. The Ranger's were greeted with the deep forest, with no sky visible. - "Beware the snails", - Chip read out the writing on the plaque. - Snails? - Dale giggled. - It's great! I was afraid that mom would wake me up any moment to send to the school! Its mo- re fun that into the comics! - Stop it now! - Chip bonked Dale. - Hey! Why did you do that! - Shut up! - Boys, Gadget woke up, but she's hurt. - Daddy... - Gadget whispered weakly. - Daddy... - It was only a trick, Gadget. The first boss tried to fool you, playing out your dad's voice. - Chip looked at the friends. - We have to look carefully at the timer, we may not get enough time to get back out. - Gadget, you ok, - Dale asked. - Dale? Friends... we are all live! Great! - The someone, who we are fighting against, decided you to be the greatest threat, Gadget. He is afraid of us, so we have a chance. But what a creep...- Monty said. - Dad... - Gadget wiped away a tear. - No, it's ok with me. We have to call Rudy. - Just a second, Gadget, - Dale suddenly stopped her. - I just thought about something. - What? - Chip, on two words. - Dale pulled friend away a bit. - Do you like this wonderful always-cheerful Rudy? - Not that much, - Chip slowly answered. - He set his eyes on Gadget the moment he saw her. Now he is becoming the greatest hero in her eyes - while we do all the dirty work, he just sits there in his laboratory and gives wonderfully well thought advice to us. And I don't like it a smallest bit. Chip nodded. - Not the right time to argue, who of us she loves more, but we have to do something with the Rudiment. - Dale continu- ed. - Agree, he was like a bone in the throat for me too. You are right, Dale. I talked with the Monty earlier, well, it's the same for all of our team. It has to be between us, the te- am. - The Ranger's shouldn't have individual secrets. Besi- des, I know... - Listen to me, Dale! I talked with Monty, he agreed. We sure can talk again... - Chip, Rudiment want's to marry Gadget! - Wha... That's enough! Let's... lets break the radio? We will get over it here somehow, but back on Earth we will sett- le a score with Mister O'Rudy. It would be last time he showed his snout in our Headquarters. Said - done. Dale pulled out the biggest lamp from radio and tossed on the rock. Gadget arrived with the instruments. She turned in the radio, checked microphone. - It doesn't work... - mouse looked inside. - The main lamp is missing! Chip? Where it went? - Gadget looked at the Chip angry. - Gadget... - Dale entered the talk. - It's... I just tripped... and dropped the radio... Sorry... Chip nearly lost his jaw. - O? Oh... Now we have a problem...- Gadget said into lost voice. - I don't even know what to do now. Rudy has to warn us if we come close to the second boss, after all, ha can see three levels ahead. We wouldn't even know how it would lo- ok like. Darn, Dale! - Gadget stomped her leg in frustration, - Do you understand, what you just did! Oh, sorry, Dale... Just ignore me a bit... Gadget waved with the hand and sat down on the pot near the trail. - Comparing to the Rudiment, the second boss should be simple task. - Chip whispered to Dale. Thoughts about the Rudiment were poisoning the minds of both chipmunks. He, not the monsters of this universe, was now their enemy 'numero uno'. He had attempted to steal Gadget's heart from them! Chip dimly thought, maybe it would be worth to officially register his relations with Gadget, but was af- raid if wasn't already too late - after all, Gadget was a free woman. What idiotic thoughts into the depths of the deadly fo- rest. "Deep forest of Death". Sure, Chip and Dale had not any rights to keep Gadget for themselves, she was completely free, but the jealously and the 'keep-it-for-himself' feelings were strangling, forcing to fight for every breath of the stale air, and to suppress the feelings. Yet, Gadget was the main light into their life, and she was worth it every bit. All day was spent fighting into the second level. The snails were a problem - they moved as on the rocket accelera- tion. The problem was solved. Friends sat down to have some food, and there they meet much more serious problem. - What an idiotic backwater deadlock, they don't have any cheese here!!! This darn 'good-for-nothing' place! Friends, lets shout in chorus: "Shame! Shame!" Chip tossed dark look at Monty, fingering his plasma-gun. Monty went silent. - We can bake some mushrooms, - Dale offered. - We don't have even the sunflower's oil! - Monty whined. - What we can do, Gadget? - I have an idea... A, oh, no, I think not. We could not bake the mushrooms. Just forget it. Gadget didn't want to look a fool. - Okay, we don't have the vegetable oil, how then we may bake something not burning it to crisps first? - Well, it's simple, - Gadget gathered courage. - We will bake them into the machine oil. No problems! Someone gulped, but, when Gadget looked sternly, no one showed any signs of the resistance. - As you say, Gadget... - Lets see, 'Opasno dlja Ziznji' machine oil. Near fresh, and exceptionally strong. It didn't even have the dropout, even if it stood on the kitchen for the most of last year. - Wasn't it at the last year, when the cockroaches into the kitchen all died out? - Dale asked innocently. - Ye-es... - Gadget, you said, its fresh! - Monty tried last reason. - I said - near fresh. - Okay, lets get at work, - Dale said. - I love the baked mushrooms! Mushrooms were baked into the 'Opasno dlja Ziznji'. They didn't burn, but they turned hard and strange in colour. Dale was first to test them. He tried to take a bit and changed in face. - What? - Plastic... - Dale spit out the remains of the bite. - Be damned this forest with its fake food, the bosses and all the idea of transexistence! - Monty shouted. - Guess the oil wasn't fresh after all, - Gadget laughed nervously. - Just forget about it. The forest as a forest. - Sure Gadget, nothing at all to worry, - Dale agreed. - Yes, Gadget. You aren't guilty, it's the forest. - Mon- ty joined. - Yes, Monty. - Chip nodded. - I hate this place. Chip was busy, cleaning the plasmo-gun. - Hey, why are you cleaning it? - Dale asked. - I don't want it to fail me this time. - Did it fail you last time. - I didn't use it last time. - Ah... Sure, Chip! - Dale tried to understand and fai- led. He hiccuped with the 'Opasno dlja Ziznji'. - Dale stop it! - Chip bonked him on the head. - Hey! Why did you do that for!!! - Stop hiccuping! - It was accident! - It wasn't! - No it was! - Was not! - It was! - Was not! Chipmunks jumped one at other's throat. For a some time fur flew on all sides, then Monty pulled them apart. Just when he was ready to start lesson about the friendship, the lights went out. - Friends, my inner voice says, that the second boss is near, - Monty dropped the 'munks. - And yer right, fatty! Bwa-ha-haa!!! Hunter jumped out from under the ground. - Fire! - Monty shouted. - Trrahh! - Off went the blaster. - Fire! - Trrahh! Pah-pah-pah! - Plasmo-gun joined the big brot- her. - Fire! Silence. - He's gone! - Dug back into the ground! - Where is he? The ground below them shook violently. - G-gosh, what's this? - Gadget, we will save you! The Hunter reappeared, now covered with the worms, and start toss badly smelling mass at the rangers. - Listen, its impolite! - Gadget went angry. Not a look for the weak in nerve. - First time see living metallist! - Dale shouted. - He's not metallist! He's Hunter! - Chip corrected. - Ah! Where's his dog then? The dog landed into the fight from the top. Someone imme- diately kicked him into the nose. The dog howled painfully. - It's not fair! They don't pay me enough for this! The howling was heard even an hour later, disappearing into the distance. - Fire! The killed Hunter burst into the magnum flare, exploded and left behind the badly smelling smoke cloud. - Hurrah! The Rangers decided to have a short rest. - Listen, Chip, why they all cant die in a normal way? Like - felt over, shook for a moment and then stay down, - Da- le asked, reloading his blaster. - Well, Dale, it's the monsters. They at the same time are living and are not. They are - how to say - into continu- ous state of death. They can't do it differently. - Okay, all come here! Gadget was organising the conference. The others all gathered. Gadget continued her speech: - Okay, friends, the third boss is the meanest of them all. His name is Namselas. He sneezes, spits bad ooze and is quick jumper. - How did you find that out? - Dale went nervous. - Rudy told me... Okay, lets talk about it seriously. I know about you being jealous to Rudy, Dale. Dale sat where he had stood. - What the... - No problems. Now listen. Darn heck, I don't like Rudy too! I don't love him, after all - we have completely diffe- rent technological conceptions, looks on the modern science and the development of the society. Chip and Dale were beaming from the happiness. - And now, help me repair the radio! - As you wish, Gadget! Gadget melted glass, blow bubble through the straw, pum- ped it with the argon, placed in the cathode and anode, closed the lamp and pulled out the contacts. Chip and Dale only were to supply her with the instruments. - Okay, the radio's ready. The transmission after five min. Snapping the fingers, Gadget turned in the transradio. Lamps warmed up, and she took microphone. - Hello, hello! Gadget calls Earth! Rudy, answer me! - Hey, stop shouting! - Rudy, its you? - No, it's the St. Nick! - Voice leered. - It's me, Nam- selas! Just give me youl timel, and maybe I won't kill you slowly and painfully! - There was deep sneezing and coughing. - You, the palody of the meddling pests, the langers-kamikad- ze... Tfu! You will get what you look for - your death! There was another cough, followed with the sounds of loud spit. - Gosh! The radio is shielded, Rudiment can't hear us! - Gadget gasped. - Listen, Namselas, two your friends we already beat, you won't be tougher that them! Chip released safety of the plasma-gun. - What are we waiting for? Death to the monsters! Storm the Black Castle! - Rangers, go! It all meshed up together - goblins, snails, chipmunks - as they entered the melee. The sky was filled with the explo- sions. It was the new order. It was WAR! Rangers moved toward the castle, destroying and burning up any organised resistance they met. - ENOFF! Namselas suddenly appeared in front of Rangers and imme- diately jumped up. Looked he bad, was quite a big, dirty loo- king, and smelled even worse. From his nose all the time flo- wed out some green ooze. - Stand still, you nuteatels! - He sneezed. - Give me ti- mel! - O, catch this! - Chip opened up from the plasmogun. Namselas jumped up, and the plasma balls missed him. - Fire! Chip and Dale shoot at the close distance, and... - Nothing's gonna work! He is impossible to hit! Another cough, and big green spit was launched at Ran- gers. - Give the timel, you lamels! Always dleamed to get a lo- ok at the Ealth, see the monstels! - Go look in mirror! - Chip suggested. Namselas coughed up another spit. - I'm selling the dead chipmunks. Five pence a skin! You wont leglet the deal, deal! It's... Gadget launched the suction-cup from her arbalet. It hit Namselas in face, shutting off his speech and stumbling him backward. Then she attacked. Like a walkyrie, she was repea- tedly smashing his head with the radio. The fragile details flew everywhere, Namselas groaned, coughed, and then died. Cheers filled the air. - I hate salesmen! - Gadget declared. - You are high today, - Monty praised her (Actually, here was used saying, Shaka-Baka said to Lawainee, but I don't know the English equivalent of it) - That wasn't the all! - Gadget pointed at herself with thumb. After such a show, the Castle quickly dropped out white banners. But there was still battle with the big bad boss ahe- ad. Rudiment's laboratory was full with the snails and worms. Rudy and Stryker were tossing them back through the portal. One especially persistent goblin again and again tried to sne- ak past them, and they used the anticockroaches spray at him. Suddenly there was third personage into the laboratory. - Hey! What you do there? - Rudiment at last noticed him. - My name's Snotty Razgdeil! I'm Bugerman, the greatest explorer of other dimensions! - What you want? - I'm fighting the monsters. Into last year I gave all my money to professor Stinkbaum and after that gave my life to the transexistencial adventures. - Had a big wad of cash? - Few millions, such a nothing. The Prof. was happy, tho- ugh. Why ask? - Nothing... - As I see, you have a small problem here. Any answers already? - Rangers Chip, Dale, Monty and Gadget are fighting mons- ters on their territory. Our transficator went broke. The Black Baron cracked its access codes from the other side. - I see, - Bugerman kicked a pair of snails into the ho- le. - May I ask, what happened with the Stinkbaum's machine? - Nothing. He repaired it, after that froze the all expe- rimental programs, and after that did the greatest cleanup, I ever saw. - Bugerman said. - So, it's the Nimnul's generator who is working? - Nope. I saw his portal from that side. He immediately shut it off as soon as discovered there won't be any gold nug- gets or gems flowing to him. The boy changes his hobby very fast. Last I heard, he is now building the flying carpets But that's not my interest, I feel I have to go. Ahh just forgot to say there is another big hole into the time-space continu- um. It's into the City Park, into the hole inside the big oak tree. Just check it too, please? And Bugermen went into transexistance. After long silence (goblin managed to get past them in meantime) Rudy exploded. - Damn you Gadget! - He shouted. - It was her transfica- tor who interfered! All my lab is gone now, why didn't she warn us!!! - Gadget may have forgot... She's also the Ranger, and it takes great part of her time, - Stryker objected. - Ranger... Great! When all this ends, I will marry on her. It's time to end to live alone. - Listen, Rudy, don't get mad on me, but I have to tell you this. It won't be as easy as you think. - I'm genius! - Rudiment shouted. - I will stop all holes there, and they would have to BEG me to let them out of the other side! Then I will offer them the exchange. Gadget will have only one way out of the transexistence - to become missis Rudiment. - When she will return to Earth, first thing she will say would be: "Rudy, you really shouldn't have done that..." I don't want to tell you, what will follow. - Shut up, Stryker! I will teach you how to take hosta- ges! Stinkbaum will not reopen his project and Nimnul had dropped his one. All I have to do is to blow up Ranger's head- quarters together with Gadget's lab. They won't even blame me; they would blame that fat cat that always cried he would rid the world from the Rangers. Then I would be the Lord of the Transexistence, this dark place, after the Rangers will deal with the Black Baron! But what a king can go without his qu- een? I need Gadget - not because she's inventor, or genius, or the mother of the transexistence - no I need her as a queen! Stryker rolled a finger at his temples - but so that Rudy won't see it. The streetlights and the night stars were dying, and the day was coming over the still dreaming Earth. Rangers were still moving forward where they were now. In opposition the morning on the Earth, there was near total darkness. And it was becoming cold. Lucky, their target was illuminated. In front of the castle they meet a boy. Dressed into glittering combineson with the big letter 'R' on the chest, he was holding into the hands a box of matches. (There was a 60'ies children movie in Russian - "Magical Matches". The boy Herbert comes from it - he was main bad personage in the mo- vie. And yes, I think, he had an 'R' on his costume.) - Naughty bay, - Gadget observed. - He is going to smoke. - Wrong, Gadget. - Monty objected. - The question is, why he is breaking the matches. The boy looked very serious. He was breaking matches one by one and whispering something. - Hi! What's your name, and what are you doing here? - Who asks? - The boy rudely answered. - We are Rescue Rangers, we fight for the equality and peace for the entire World! - For the advanced socialism, you mean? - What? - Forget it. There was silence. After some time boy grew tired of it. - My name's Herbert. Go away, you are distracting me. - Uh, we are sorry, but we thought, you will smoke. Smo- king is bad for your health, - Dale said. - Me? Smoking? What an idiocy! I'm solving quite bigger problems that the perfect health. - And what are these problems? - I'm fulfilling my wishes. - We may help you... - You? Ha-ha! I need no one! I have just to break a sing- le match, and I would switch the Sun and the Moon places, but it's too trivial a task! I'm ever powerful, I can do anything! I can wish and get mountains of candies and rivers of the cho- colate. I can get every toy made in the world - now or past! I can have hundreds of castles - from gold and brilliants! I can have dozens of velos, no dozen dozens! - Gosh, who someone needs a dozen of velos, if he can drive only one at the moment... - I don't know. Besides, I already had them all, and grew tired, so I wished to get rid of them. So I just broke a match, and said... But I grew tired telling you this all. Just let me alone! I don't need company. - Gosh, you feel tired all the time? How can you live so all your life? - I didn't live that for all the time! - Herbert in anger replied. - I once found just one magic match, and asked to ha- ve a million of them. I created Yesterday; I built many cast- les there, created robots to serve me. The toilet pots in my castles are from gold and platinum. All I need do is to break a single mach, and I will get all I need. But here... they don't work... - I... To say a truth, I... I just don't know what to say. You have a great power for a disposal, and we sure can't help you. But because you don't want to be helped! - Gadget shouted. - But you anyway are unhappy, but we cant help you, since we couldn't do this with force, against your will! No one can live only into the Yesterday. Good-bye! - Wait! Please... help me? - But your magical matches? - Chip asked. - Damn, they won't work here! - But you said, you can do everything! - Yes! Into the Yesterday! Just a yesterday I broke one match, asking to get to the opposite world. I got here, and I'm stranded here, as the matches don't work and I can't get away. - Listen, Chip, - Gadget whispered. - There is no such a thing as magic matches, and I'm not sure how he got here, but he needs help. We have to help him. - Great! Why not to ask him to help us to fight the Black Baron? - Herbert, maybe you will help us first? - Monty asked. - I don't know. What I have to do? - For now just walk with us. We will fight the Black Ba- ron, and after that, we will return to our world. You may come with us. - Okay. - Did you see something? - I was looking at the castle for a few hours. Some gob- lins are guarding it, but I think they wont be a problem for you. - Herbert looked at the Ranger's arsenal. Rangers and Herbert were into the one of great halls into the castle. They had sneaked in unnoticed. The steep stairs lead up to the Baron's sleeping room. - I don't know how you will fight him, but his death isn't into him. It's hidden into the needle, which is hidden into egg. By chance, I saw where they were guarding it. - Her- bert said. - How did you know that? - Chip asked. - E... Learned once into the school. Okay, I will get the goblins. - O. K. - As soon as he will lead the goblins away, grab the egg. I will delay the baron, if he appears, - Monty said. Of course, it all went much easier and not that dramatic. There wasn't anyone guarding the egg. The few goblins were pe- acefully sleeping into the next room. Gadget simply walked up to the nest, rolled the egg out of the box and rolled toward the corner. - Let's move... Silently... Ok! Dale, fetch the hammer. - A, e! It's in my backpack. Get it herself, I'm a bit busy. - Dale! What are you doing? - One of goblins is awakened, I'm singing to him the sle- ep-song. Gadget rolled eyes and opened Dales backpack. Suddenly she froze. She slowly picked up THIS. Plain loo- king plasticate packets, each containing the glass cylinder, like the patrons. Three times the ten ampoules. "Hydrochloride Morpheme 0.02" Dale's backpack slipped from Gadget's paws. - Monty... - she said silently. - Come here. Monty obeyed. - Monty, look. It's morphine. It's... It's... Gosh darn heck, Dale's narcoman! Gadget slowly slide down the wall, she had leaned at. She caught her knees with hands, and started to weep. - Gadget, luv, please calm down. Calm down, ok? We... We have first to be sure. Remember where we are now. Let's ask him. And let's not to tell Chip - for a now. He will be very shocked. - But Dale... What we will tell Dale? What can we do? Monty, what? Dale came up on them, not knowing what had happened. - Gadget, did You find the hammer in my... Dale went silent, spotting the ampoules. He looked at them and tried to say something. - Gadget... Believe me, it not mine! It's not me... I will explain, please, Gadget, it wasn't me... Gadget was crying, smearing the tears on her face and ha- irs. - Look what you did, - Monty said slowly. - Monty, I swear, it's... I was asked to hide it. For a time. I can't tell, who it was, I promised not to tell. Dale sat down and hold Gadget. - Listen, Gadget... - Monty tried to help. - We are li- ving together for a long time. We aren't simply friends, we are a family. If it had happened, we would have noticed somet- hing. Before. But there wasn't. Sure? - Monty... You think? - Gadget, listen, I'm not using that stuff! - Gosh, Dale... I believe to you... The clock beat the midnight. - Okay, time to break some eggs. - Monty said. He raised the egg over the head and smashed down at the rocky floor. It shattered. Monty picked up the needle. - This is his death! Suddenly the doors upstairs flew open and out jumped a skeleton. He rushed down the stairs, shouting: - No! Please! Don't! I'm begging you! I had lived so little, I'm so young, and I'm only a thousand years of age! Don't kill me! - You will die anyway, Black Baron! - Listen, I can offer much! Money! Power! Fame! I'm unbe- lievably rich; I can pay for anything! - We don't need nor gold, nor money. We are Rescue Ran- gers! - Gadget declared. - And so You, Baron, would do as we say, - Monty ended. - Okay, okay! Just don't bend the needle! Skeleton stayed on the mid-stairs. He no more has power over his life. Stryker had gone into bad state. He was sitting behind the neutrino generator's control panel and was shaking. - What's with you, - Rudiment at last asked. - Nnothing... ungh... - Caught the cold? - O-oo... No... - Where's 'glass'? - Gave to... Dale. - Idiot! Why? - You... would take... away... - Exactly! There are the cops everywhere! - Didn't know... He will go too... into that darn hole... Thought it safe... O-ooox... - Just lie down and relax. - Don't have any 'wheels'? - Just a sec... Yes, an analgin. - Give! - Nn... nn... Na! - Teased Rudiment. - Stryker could hold the tablets, and they felt down. He grabbed then from the floor, together with the dirt, pressed into the mouth and washed down with quite water. He went into coughing fit. - Rudy... - What now? - The 'wheels'... They don't help... I need... 'glassss'... - Shut up! I won't let you make injections here! Just ke- ep up. Few weeks, and its over. - I... NEED... 'GLASS'!!! - What a shame. But I'm busy. There comes next moment of my plans. Rudiment raised the axe and smashed it at the main panel. It sparked, burst into flames and ended his existence; The Ru- diment picked up steel rod and with a few hits finished the generator, collector and anything else still working. - It's the all. There is no more Transexistence genera- tors. Rangers would have to win the Black Baron. - But... How will they come back? - I just will go to the Gadget's lab, call Gadget with the timer, and when she comes through, destroy her transfica- tor. As about you, Stryker... I think, Gadget will say about you: "Was there only one honest man, and even that the narco- man. Bwa-ha-ha!" - So that was your plan... To trap the Ranger's into the transexistence... - Exactly! I had to get rid of them. I only didn't expect Gadget to go too. But that's nothing, the real geniuses can change their plans according to the situation. What I told about the King of Dark Lands - its idiocy. What I need, is Gadget - as an obedient and observant wife. - You creep! - Thanks for compliment. Unfortunately, I also need you, my dear best friend. You know the persons like us; we have to live highly! We have to have the palaces to live, the delica- tessen for the dinner, and the comfort for anything we want. We have to live like the geniuses should be living! Don't wor- ry Stryker, I will pay for the best hospital and doctors, you will be cured. Then we will continue our project, which was closed for lack on funding. We will be unbelievably rich. Why? Because we, only we would have the secret of transfication. And believe me, Stryker, it's a powerful thing. Who would dare to say: "No!" to us? - But... You destroyed the generator... - Not exactly... Rudiment pulled out from the pocket small black box. - See. The pocket transexistence generator. There are on- ly two of them into existence, and second one carries Gadget. The main generator powered it up, but it no more needs so much energy and controls to work. And one more thing - it cant be cracked from the other side. It's only one-way ticket. And in so - the more powerful. - Rudy... I don't believe you... Not anymore... A woman had misted your mind. You are blind. You exchanged high scien- ce for the moment's flirt. You put science to work for the bad things. I think highly about Gadget, but now I hate her. - No, Stryker, you are wrong. Calm down. - You don't love Gadget either! You just want her. Like a kid wants a new toy. You are lying to yourself! Maybe you right. I don't care anymore. Stryker's eyes were dead. He went silent. - Yes, Stryker. Maybe I only want her, because she was something I couldn't get so easily. Maybe. But it doesn't mean anything. I will anyway follow my plan. Crash! The door suddenly shattered into pieces and in ca- me two hamsters into civil with the deadly serious faces. - Federal Time Control Agency. Order to search. You are accused of the illegal creation and use of the methathronic transexistence station. You have rights not to answers any qu- estions. You have rights to call advocate. If you can't afford an advocate, you will be given one from the state. You have the rights to go on the hunger strike. Surrender weapons and documents! Any narcotics? - Great! - First of the hamsters checked the papers in hand. - We have here one Rudiment Kapinski, alias Vertuxay, alias Don Juan, alias Izaura, alias Nimnul O'Rudy. You sure were the most lover lab rat of late Prof. Norton Nimnul? - Shut up, (expletive deleted) cops! - Ser First! - The second hamster was checking the room with some small pelenghator. - He has energoindependent timer of the transexistence jump on him. All other devices are dest- royed. - Check the sidekick. Second hamster listed through Stryker's documents. - Ser First, its simple case. It's Stryker, alias Narco- man, alias Dystrophic, alias The Needle. He is suspected for using and keeping of the illegal substances. - Stretch out hands! Picking? May call yourself lucky, if you clean, punk. Stryker relaxed. He indeed was lucky. - Second! Confiscate the illegal technology and arrest Mr. Rudiment. - Yes, ser! Rudiment caught the empty needle and threw at the First like the spear. - Kill you!!! The needle went over the First's head; he managed to bow down. After some loud movements, the handcuffs snapped shut. - No, you (expletive deleted)! - Second! - Yes, ser! - Close up here, put the tape around it all. - Yes! The first hamster pushed Rudy into the black hamster-si- zed car. Stryker shouted out: - Rudy! I will do all for You, Rudy! I will get you out of the jail! - No, Stryker! Take care about yourself, it's long time for me. Farewell, meet at my wedding! Bwa-ha-ha! The Skeleton suddenly impossibly fast jumped down from the stairs and caught Gadget by neck. Same moment ha had a scalpel at her skin. - Now what, (expletive deleted). I cut, yes? Cut? Monty understood that he wouldn't have time to catch ne- edle in both paws and break. - Put the needle down! Slowly! Monty put it down. - Now step back! Slowly! Monty stepped back. The Baron was retreating toward the stairs, keeping Gad- get in front of him and looking at the needle. - You! The young one! Pick it up! - He shouted. - And gi- ve to me! - Don't do it, Dale! - Gadget cried. Skeleton added pressure. On Gadget's neck appeared small speck of red. - Faster! Dale slowly bent and picked up needle. - Give it! Dale understood that he wouldn't have the nerve to break the needle. - Give it! NOW!!! Dale gave the needle to the skeleton. - Let Gadget go! The Baron dropped the scalpel and caught the needle. He pushed Gadget at Dale and ran upstairs. - Kill them! - He shouted to the goblins. - He is escaping! - Gadget screamed. Suddenly something speed through the air and hit skeleton in legs. Herbert had thrown a wooden pole at him. The Baron lost balance, waved madly with the hands. The needle felt out of his fingers. Goblins jumped after it, but Monty was faster. He caught it and immediately broke into two. It was done. There was flash and then roar of thunder. The ground shook. The were-creatures howled, the dead wailed, something was shattering, something was falling, and something was crashing. The goblins were melting into air; the snails puffed up until exploded like the overfilled air balloons, the worms twisted like crazy and burned to ash. - Run! Rangers and Herbert barely made it to the castle gate, when it felt apart like the cardhouse. The monsters were changing, becoming even terrible before gone back to the hell. Transexistence was cleaned from the evil and became one of many parts of the Universe, as good or bad as everything else here. Gadget set the timer on the necessary frequency. - Since I shattered radio at Namselas's head, we have to go back by hand and on blind. I think. - Gadget said. - Gosh, Gadget. I think, you will made it! You always ma- de it. - Dale cheered. - Only get us out of there faster. - Quite a good idea, - Chip added sceptically. - Of course, if I still had my radio... Uh-oh... Boys, we have a problem. I can't connect to the Rudy's generator. - Somehow, I was expecting something like that, - Chip declared. - What did you expect? The generator simply is turned off! - Gadget was angry. - But his timer? - I can't call timer with only timer. It's not the wor- king generator; it's only like the distant caller. Pager, if you like. It only opens communications on the set channel and keep them open for a set time. - Like the "Sliders"? - Dale remembered. - Exactly. They lost the basis station, and they couldn't go home. But it's not what will happen to us. - Then why we are still here? - I don't know. The station doesn't answer. All the time Herbert was lazily looking at them. The he spoke up: - I think, your friend Rudiment did it for you. - How can you think so about him? - All rats are alike. - Hey! How did you know he is a rat? - Chip shouted. - Nothing... Just learned once. Gadget worked at the timer for a some time. - Doing nothing, I had to call my generator. Of course, it's quite harder to do, but it should work. - Gadget luv! Gadget was already trying to catch up the right frequen- cy, when she found a surprise. - I found it! Gosh! Someone is working with my generator! - Maybe it's Rudy? Maybe his station broke up? - I don't know. Then an idea appeared into Gadget's mind. Rudiment would have wanted to get rid of any concurrent to the fame of the Transexistence discovery. Into the world of Science such a things had happened before. The fact, Rudy had worked at Nimnul's lab, Gadget had hid from her friends. Azartic of the pure science didn't let her be bothered with such an 'unimportant' facts of her collea- gue's biographies. Now, however, her analytical mind, not the paper scientist's, but the field scientist's-daredevil's mind, was already telling her the right way to do things. - Herbert is right. Turning on the transficater wont me- an, we will land on the Earth. I have to think. Herbert thought a bit and then asked. - Can you call someone else, not Rudy? - No... But gosh darn heck, Rudy couldn't know my frequ- encies, while I'm picking up the signal of my own station. - I repeat question. Who may turned in your generator then? - Zipper! - The rangers shouted in chorus. - No. - Gadget shook head. - Only I could do it. - So something had happened. - Herbert said. - Because otherwise no one would turn in other person's generator. It is making cross-frequency interference when working, right? - You had learned your share in school, - Monty grinned. - A, that. Kid's game, only the tenth class. Physic, electromagnetic waves, the fifteenth paragraph. - Proudly said Herbert. - Between, I ended the school with the gold medal, and it was terribly tiresome there. A day after the Last Ring ball I found just one magical match. First wish I made was to get a million of such matches. You know the rest... - Herbert! There is no such thing as magic matches! - Gadget got angry. - It disagrees with the basis scientific postulates! - If you think so, - Herbert agreed. - Gadget, maybe we go home at last? - Monty interested. Gadget checked something inside the timer then set it to work. All immediately went into move. The wind raised the old leaves, dust and trash. Appeared some small whirlpools. Ground shook and the Rangers felt down. With the thunder into air ap- peared silvery hole. The surrounding things were pulled into it. Suddenly out from it shoot Zipper. He rounded the Rangers and then shouted something as loud as could against the wind. - Return to home! - Zipper my pal! Its ok all? - Yes! Rangers turned to Herbert. - You come with us? Herbert looked away. - I understand, you friends are a tight group, you work for the law and order, helping others. It's great job, but it's not a job for me. I love to be alone, I love silence. I was alone on the Earth anyway. Go home without me. It would be tiresome for me to live on Earth, I stay here. - But your magical matches? - Chip asked. - If they won't work here, what would you do? - Nothing! - Herbert waved. - Into a day spent here, I greatly did without them. And you know - I started to like the feeling, you can do something yourself. Farewell, Rangers. Herbert turned and started to walk toward the forest ed- ge. - Farewell, Herbert! - Okay, boys, time to go! - Gadget shouted. - Monty, you first. Monty jumped into the glowing circle and disappeared. Straight after him jumped Dale, then Chip. Gadget was to be last. She tossed for a last time a look at the transexistence forest, so beautiful green, at the endless fields ahead and at the blue deepless sky overhead. The wind was tossing her hair, her eyes were sparkling, her tears were pulled away by the wind. Swinging with her tail, Gadget jumped after Zipper speed through the silver circle. Then the hole between two universes closed forever. The Rangers reappeared inside Gadget's laboratory. The hamsters, First and Second, were waiting for them here. - Glad, that Zipper found you, - First said. He chm-ed and continued. - So, mister and missis Chipman, Dale, Monty and Zipper. Your existence into the transexistence for the past two days was a part of the task, set upon you by someone O'Rudy, am I right? I also see, you have done it. - We are Rangers. We always are here to help. - Missis G. Chipmans, after we arrested O'Rudy, we had to turn in your transexistence generator, because his own genera- tor was... how to say... rendered unusable. Now you are back. Lets talk about the case. Do you have the certificate on the station? - Yes, I have certification. - Good. The First confiscated the certificate. - Show me your timer. - Here... Timer was confiscated too. - The orders of the government of USA, animal subdivisi- on, number J-485. All experiments into the sphere of the tran- sexistence, also as into any co-related spheres, are ended. You are obliged to disassemble your station. - ... - Missis Chipmans, do you follow me? - Axx... yes. Sure, I understand, but... - I hope, you understood, what catastrophe you had just averted. Despite Your victory over the Black Baron, the break- through of darkness may happen again. The transexistence, as show the last experiments, is an eighteenth-dimensional ti- me-space continuum. It has about four hundred basic vectors that lead to the other etheric-time universe. This was disco- vered and experimentally tested by Eldar Michael Jones and professor Stinkbaum. Snotty Razgdeil tested it practically. - Fourth Jones-Stinkbaum rule, "Meta-physic", second vo- lume, paragraph 28. - Agreed Gadget. - Exactly, missis Chipmans. You have great memory. The less vectors we open, the longer Earth will have time. I hope you won't be your own enemies? - Gosh, sure! You are right! It's only that some of my inventions do things I didn't plan then to do. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm wunderkind, but not genius. I only learn yet. - Gadget added. - Good bye, Rangers! And good luck! The hamsters disappeared into air. - Friends, what we wait for? We have whole day ahead! - Gadget cheerfully turned to the others. - Chip, wake up Dale. - Do you have something in the mind? Gadget finished could black coffee and pulled out one of the blueprints from the stack. - What is it, Gadget luv? - It's my drawings of the time machine. And we will start to build it now. - Then what we wait for! - Monty shouted. - Rangers... - GO!!! It was their hour, the work went ahead fast, the victory was close, and it called them to go until the end was here. It was no time to sit and get sad, there was no way to get tired, the cheers were real, and the victory was sure to be on their side. The wind was carrying their song over the summer lands and Sun was shining over the city.
Some terms explained: 'Opasno dlja Ziznji' - into the original there was said in English - "Biohazard". This is the Russian equivalent of it. Namselas - Original was 'Decel' - 'delec' (salesman). Kno- wing how it ended, I think the substitute name fits. Snotty Razgdeil aka Bugerman, Prof. Stinkbaum, Black Baron - I suspect them being the heroes/villains of some cheap console videogame. Death into the needle - snip of the Russian fairy-tales abo- ut the Koschey-The-Undead, who had his death into the needle. He couldn't be killed normally; even blown into the pieces he would grew together again. 'glass', 'wheels' - narcoman's jargon. 'Glass' - ampoules with the morphine. 'Wheels' - any narcotic into the tablets. Just if someone cares, there is the statistics, Word8 provides: Counts: Words - 8305 Characters - 39115 Paragraphs - 551 Sentences - 1203 Averages: Sentences per paragraph - 2,2 Words per sentence - 6,8 Characters per word - 4,3 Readability Passive sentences - 2% Flesch Reading Ease - 82,7 Flesch-Kincair Grade Level - 3,4 Flesch Reading Ease score Rates text on a 100-point scale; the higher the score, the easier it is to understand the document. For most standard documents, aim for a score of approximately 60 to 70. Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level score Rates text on a U.S. grade-school level. For example, a score of 8.0 means that an eighth grader can understand the document. For most standard documents, aim for a score of approximately 7.0 to 8.0.

© John, Moscow, November 1997
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